Want to know some things about marketing to seniors? Take it from me, I started marketing to seniors when I was nine years old, and have been raking in the dough ever since. It all started with that five-dollar tip from Grandma Betty next door when it was obvious that my lemonade stand profits were going sour. I decided then and there to adopt the strategy of marketing to seniors.
Soon my fertile little mind began booming with ideas for marketing to seniors. I had soon discovered the priceless combination of the phrases “Senior Discount” and “Donations Accepted.” I was always the kid who started marketing to seniors right away for the school fund-raiser, and made all the other kids absolutely green with envy when I won the Nintendo for making the most sales. My developing skills in marketing to seniors meant that I always ended up going to camp for free and pocketing the money Mom and Dad otherwise would have paid for Little League Baseball.
How did I do so well in marketing to seniors as a nine-year old? All there was to it was developing a few very important techniques. The first key in marketing to seniors is the “puppy dog” look. After a quick sales pitch, make a little sigh, look up at your customer with big tired eyes as if it’s been a long day, and fall absolutely silent. According to my humble experience in marketing to seniors, this works 70% of the time. Other techniques for effective marketing to seniors include the “I’m really hungry” look and the “I’m the sole supporter of my family” look, but I can’t give away too many of my secrets…
Unfortunately, as time passed, my profit in marketing to seniors soon began to dwindle. Then it stopped altogether. I found to my dismay that the “puppy dog” look begins to lose its effectiveness in marketing to seniors when you’re 16 years old. Not to mention when you’re 28. When I found myself making the “I’m the sole supporter of my family” look for real when marketing to seniors, I knew I had hit rock-bottom. That’s when I heard about Today’s Senior Magazine, and found that marketing to seniors can be a snap at any age. If only I had known about how easy Today’s Senior Magazine could have made marketing to seniors with that first lemonade stand!
Submitted to Today's Senior Magazine by Tom Urbanowicz of Data Design It.