When Being Right Is So Wrong
by Arleen M. Kaptur
You've done this task a million times over and you are sure that your way is the best way. It worked in the past, in fact, it just worked yesterday. But today, the opportunity came up again to use your proven method and you forged ahead accepting no help, or even a mere suggestion of doing it a different way. The outcome is perfect and you can rest assured that once again you were right and everything worked out just the way it should.
The outcome was perfect to you but now look at the faces of those around you. Your wife or husband, your friends, and even your children. They have walked away without feeling that they have helped, that they were a part of whatever it was that needed fixing, and that you are so self-sufficient that there is really no need for their input or assistance. Yes, you won the war, as has been said, but you missed the boat by a long-shot.
It's wonderful to know you are right - it is most definitely an ego and self-confidence booster. It is yet another feather in your cap of life. But, my friend, it really isn't worth it. While you feel great, the ripples that you have sent out have somehow taken the wind out of your sails and have definitely rained on your parade.
Sometimes it pays better dividends and you reap more than you sow when you stop and let others help, even though it will take longer and your way is tried and proven. That few minutes of less precision, a bit more awkwardness and maybe even a non-permanent result is so rich that there isn't a bank in the world to hold the gold of the moment. You let your husband or wife, your friends, and even your children lend a hand, be a part of something, and everyone walked away feeling better, more fulfilled, and even more satisfied in who they are and where they are going.
Yes, you were right as rain but now you are the rainbow and the sunrise all rolled into one. You are the hero to someone who's ego may have sagged a bit, whose faith in themselves faltered a tad, or whose self-esteem was in peril. Yes, you are the one who made an ordinary quick-fix part of life into a memorable, maybe even laugh-filled time in everyone's life that it touched - and don't forget the observers who stood on the sidelines. They were there to catch a few rays of sun from your just taking the time to "let" others in - to accept a helping hand even if you didn't really need it. You were right this time and doesn't it feel great.
2007 Arleen M. Kaptur Copyright dated: 01/02/2007
About the Author: Arleen M. Kaptur is owner of A & J Northwoods - a unique gift shop in the North Woods of Wisconsin. She has written many articles reliving the most rewarding life possible through relationships, food, family and friends.